me: [to manager] ooh, that’s one of my favourite customers!
customer: [older man approaches till] I’ll take a “mike tyson” today, please.
me: I’m sorry, what?
customer: a “big black” … hehehe
me: *nervous laughter*
…customer leaves with his coffee…
manager: so… is it the racism that you find endearing?
Ugh… ‘Princess Diaries 2’?! In FRENCH!? I’d rather watch ‘THE HILLS’!! But just barely…
“…which is why I just prefer to think of the homeless as outdoorsy. So, shine on, urban campers! You smell like adventure!”
I know gelatin has bone in it, but… I CAYNT GIVE UP MAH CANDY!!!
During an intense game of ‘Counterfactuals:’
Sheldon: In a world where mankind is ruled by a giant intelligent beaver, what food is no longer consumed?
Leonard: A B.L.T. where the “B” stands for “Beaver?”
Sheldon: …Leonard, be serious, we’re playing a game here.
Leonard: Well, beavers eat tree bark… the only tree bark I know that humans consume is cinnamon, so I’ll say “Cinnamon.”
Sheldon: Incorrect. Obviously the answer is cheese danish.
What a wonderful surprise! Thank you, person who vomited on my car!
weird girl of the world
- caitlin: [reading perezhilton.com] "Seth Rogen gets engaged!"
- me: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
- caitlin: [keeps reading] "Our hearts go out to weird girls all over the world who will be devastated at this announcement."
- me: ...NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!
‘Alive’ is good. ‘Die’ is bad. Trust me on this one, my dad’s a dentist.
this is me. im awkward. with my crazy parents (former funeral directors and a father who happens to be the mayor of my town), my hilarious little sisters, my barista job at starbucks (insane customers aplenty), my love of film and tv (im a media grad), and my inability to talk normally to people … i figured i could adequately fill a microblog with quotable quotations from day-to-day minutiae. wurd.